Make My Lips Tick

Make My Lips Tick

“Joseph. Joseph.

Be my man.

Kiss me. Kiss me.

Yes, you can.”

“Mrs P,

I will not kiss you.

If you left

I would not miss you.

Leave me. Leave me.

Let me be.

I will not kiss you,

Mrs P.”

Mrs P

Was keen on Joseph.

And she thought it

mean of Joseph

To be loyal

To his master,

Mister High-and-Mighty

Potty

Far away from home

(And spotty),

Playing royal soldiers

with the king.

“He would never

know a thing

about it.

Do not doubt it,

Joseph, Joseph,

be my man.

Kiss me. Kiss me

While you can.”

Mr P

had chosen badly,

Gladly

Married Mrs Potty.

He was absolutely

Dotty:

Doted on her;

Over heels and head

In love;

Bragged and boasted

Of her beauty;

Called her

Secretly

His Little Tooty Fruity.

Sadly

Mrs Tooty Fruity

– such a cutie –

Did not care to

Do her duty

By her

Little Teasy Weasy.

She was much too

free and easy

with her favours;

She would eye up

Slave or sentry,

Groom or gentry

In the garden,

In the entry.

She would whisper,

“Kiss me. Kiss me.

Yes, you can.”

Only Joseph ever said,

“Dismiss me.

You won’t miss me.”

Only Joseph ever

Ran.

Left his cloak and

Ran.

Mrs P?

She popped a gasket:

Threw a basket at the cat;

Raged and ranted;

Chanted curses in Egyptian

On the mat.

All the while she

Spat out

Vile and vicious verses

Calling Joseph

This and That.

What is worse is

Mrs Potty

Cracked her makeup

In her madness

All her beauty seen

In all its badness,

Screamed:

“Wake up,

You servants.

Here. Come quickly.

Look at this:

The cloak of

Mister

Perfect Joseph.

Tried to kiss the

Mistress of the House.

Got as close up

as he could.

Before I screamed.

as any woman would.

When the

Master of our House

returns,

Mister Joseph learns

what fate befalls

a slave

who craves a kiss

of Mistress Potiphar

within her own four walls.”

Well…

What could Mr Potty say?

It had been an awful day:
Drilling soldiers by the dozen;

Lunching with a distant cousin;

Not what Potty would have chosen

to come home to: ‘Kiss and Tell’

And Tittle Tattle.

He’d have rather fought

a battle with the Sphinx.

Still…

The Little Minx prevailed.

Joseph:

he was gaoled;

could have wept and

could have wailed;

could have railed against

the Lord

but didn’t.

Trusted God

and waited.

Knew that kissing Mrs P

was grossly overrated.

And

In time

he found that he was fated –

In a Calvinistic way –

In God’s plan –

to save the world he knew

from famine.

All because

he ran.